What I Learned From Supernatural
by xxmaskedchickxx
Summary: This is my list of things that I've learned from Supernatural. I have been keeping this list since season 4 and it has grown rapidly with the help of some twitter friends. The list is based off of things from season 1 to season 8.
1. Chapter 1

_**Here's my list of things that I've learned from Supernatural. Not all of these are mine, I've had help with my twitter friends. Everything comes from season 1 to season 8. Enjoy!**_

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1. When you're in West Nevada, East is practically all there is.

2. If your friend turns into a druggie, douse him with holy water or be like Sam and kick his butt.

3. Dean can still smirk and be a smartass from behind a surgical mask.

4. Pestilence likes to cause random cases of the Swine Flu.

5. Apparently the four horsemen of the Apocalypse have a "stable boy".

6. God is not on any flat-bread.

7. Everyone drops dead eventually, so coroners have great job security.

8. When Sam says "keep driving", you better keep driving.

9. That stuff boiling on the stove? Yeah, it's NOT tomato soup.

10. Whatever the situation, pie always seals the deal.

11. A little faith in your big brother can change your destiny.

12. There is someone behind you, and you are either saying really inappropriate things, or being captured by gods.

13. Angels have Witness Protection too.

14. "Don't mock my world turtle!"

15. Never trust a Trickster… unless you're uber-boned and he's your only option.

16. Never agree to stay in a 4 star hotel in the middle of nowhere!

17. Dean's pretty badass but Sammy's in a whole other league.

18. Always raise a bigger puppy than thy neighbor.

19. My fear of needles might be a good thing.

20. Salt is the cure. Once you mention salt, all the evil demons run like hell.

21. We all have our parts to play. Some of us are heroes, some of us are dinner.

22. Gabriel will totally uber-bone you because he's mad a Daddy.

23. Never eat at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet when people keep disappearing.

24. Never trust a demon, no matter how smooth-talking he/she is.

25. Sam and Dean - even though they are hunters - cannot lie to a doctor about being crazy people.

26. Always carry the magic knife on you. You never know when you'll run into a demon.

27. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake-hole.

28. Dean is a kid at heart.

29. Gabriel has wings. Like Kotex.

30. Dean is in fact, Batman.

31. Nobody messes with a man's wheels.

32. Whoever pretends to be an FBI agent is just nutty.

33. There's a difference between protection against demon salt and oops I spilt the popcorn salt.

34. The Easter bunny is Jewish.

35. It's never a good thing when ghosts start getting creative.

36. Whenever you don't want to get it in the nuts, speak Japanese.

37. Sam hates genital herpes commercials.

38. If her name is Jasmin, then she's a stripper.

39. Humming Metallica always calms your nerves.

40. Sam has always been a freak.

41. Bobby is not a ditchable prom date.

42. Nobody sleeps with their peepers open.

43. French fries are deep fried crack.

44. "Don't be scared of Donny. He's a sweetheart. It's Marie you've got to look out for. She smells fear."

45. If the elevator gets stuck with you in it, don't try to be a hero and climb out, you might get squished.

46. An Impala can drive thousands of miles and never die.

47. Table salt is more than just a condiment for food.

48. Demons use iPhones.

49. Apparently, Death is a card carrying member of Team Free Will.

50. Apparently, Death will spare Chicago just for the pizza.

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_**This is not the end! There are many, many, MANY more to come!**_

_**If you have anything thing to add, message it to me and I'll post it with your kudos. :)**_

_**Review! 3**_

_**-Elly**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Here's some more WILFS! Enjoy!_**

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51. Castiel gets more badass the more human he gets.

52. Castiel can still save Sam and Dean – with no angelic mojo – riding a bus.

53. Life was so much simpler for Sam when he and Dean were ONLY hunting Wendigos.

54. Death is older than God, and one day he will reap God.

55. "When humans really, really want something… We lie. That's how you become president."

56. Dean can never stay mad at his food.

57. You do not want Nair in your shampoo.

58. REO doesn't sing from the heart, he sings from the hair.

59. Dean is the only one that gets to call Sam, Sammy.

60. Don't ever, ever forget the pie.

61. If you want to get somebody's attention, just call them an assbutt.

62. Sam always says pansy stuff.

63. Sam and Dean bicker like an old married couple.

64. Dean is Mulder, and Sam is a red headed woman.

65. "You can't give yourself a nickname."

66. WWSADD? What Would Sam And Dean Do?

67. Its okay if you shot the sheriff. At least you didn't shoot the deputy.

68. Its always funnier in Enochian.

69. Its easy to confuse reality and porn.

70. You are officially awesome if you build a panic room in your basement on your weekend off.

71. Long pig is the word of the day.

72. Always be specific when making deals with demons, you never know what's in the fine print.

73. Angels have brotherly angst just like everyone else.

74. The Apocalypse ends just outside of Lawrence, Kansas – where the boys' lives began.

75. Demon Blood is the new energy drink.

76. No matter how many times you die, you always come back.

77. The end is here but it doesn't mean its over.

78. Prophets do NOT make good writers.

79. Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.

80. Vampires do NOT sparkle.

81. Archangels can be perverts.

82. Clowns really DO kill!

83. A ring of salt will always protect you.

84. If your computer is stuck on , Dean wasn't on it.

85. Don't trust Ruby.

86. Ghost sickness makes Dean scream like a little girl.

87. Asia is better than Huey Lewis and the News.

88. Mr. Trickster does not like Pretty Boy Angels.

89. Sammy Winchester wears makeup.

90. You can shoot her, just not in public.

91. You never say Bloody Mary three times, in front of a mirror.

92. If you steal Dean's car, he'll hyperventilate.

93. Dean is not a Paris Hilton BFF.

94. Aliens like to slow dance to Lady in Red.

95. My daddy shot your daddy in the head.

96. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.

97. River-dancing impresses the ladies.

98. Sam and Dean don't work for the Mandroid.

99. Dean knows two things: 1. Bert and Ernie are gay and 2. He's not gonna let Cas die a virgin, not on his watch.

100. Cupids are incontinent.

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_**Once again, if you guys have anything you want to add to the list, message me and I'll post it with your kudos!**_

_**This list keeps growing. Every time I re-watch an episode, I keep thinking of more things. Eventually it'll be over 500! Ha! I wish!**_

_**Anywhooo..don't forget to review! 3**_

_**-Elly**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Here's s'more WILFS! This is sort because I've come to a halt on making more up...I just have a huge brain fart. Hopefully that'll go away and I'll continue to add more to the list! Wish me luck! Enjoy!**_

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101. When Daddy lets you down, find a liquor store and drink it.

102. "Bitch" and "Jerk" are terms of endearment.

103. Crazy works. Just pull down your pants and yell "Pudding!"

104. Pie can get you killed, or kidnapped.

105. I knew the Swine Flu was a zombie maker… good thing I didn't get my shots.

106. Even the Apocalypse is funny with the Winchesters.

107. Death will not kill your entire city if it has excellent deep-dish pizza.

108. Angels are dicks with wings.

109. The light at the end of the tunnel is Hell Fire.

110. Sam is an abomination.

111. Your brother will wake up after being knocked out, at exactly the best time to save you.

112. Any supernatural being will appear only after someone has turned around at least twice.

113. The term "immortal" is very flexible.

114. You can shrug off a gunshot wound that isn't even mentioned in the next episode, and somehow a broken wrist you got after being chased by a zombie, will take 7 freaking episodes to heal!

115. Any foolish sacrifice can be justified with the phrase "You're my brother".

116. Calling Lucifer a "big bag of dicks" will get you killed.

117. Dean is Sam's Jiminy Cricket.

118. Dean flicks his bic for Crowley.

119. Dean needs to go get that damn amulet!

120. Angels have daddy issues just like the rest of us.

121. If a demon and an angel agree on something, pay attention.

122. A wood chipper should be on everybody's Hanukah list.

123. Worst case scenario, it's just Sam.

124. The hairless apes always have the floor.

125. Sometimes being Robo!Cop/Robo!Sam is a good thing.

126. Cas learned everything from the Pizza Man.

127. "Karma's a bitch, bitch."

128. Dean pizza rolled Tinkerbell.

129. Giving your waitress the silent "How you doin'?" is a big no-no when your reality is collapsing around you.

130. Don't sleep with a hippie chick right after your brother gets abducted by aliens. Chances are, he's gonna be pissed.

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_**That's it for now! **_

_**Like I've said before, if you have some to add, message me and I'll post it with your kudos!**_

_**Review! 3**_

_**-Elly**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hola! Here's s'more WILFS! I really do enjoy doing this...I get to watch my Dean over and over! Hehe. ;)**_

_**FYI, for those of you who have given me some WILFS suggestions to add to the list, they won't be posted for a while. I want to be a couple 'chapters' ahead in case I have a HUGE brain fart and can't come up with anymore. BUT DON'T WORRY! Your kudos will be posted with your suggestions! :)**_

_**Now you may return to your regularly scheduled program. Enjoy!**_

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131. When in doubt, cover your face in blood and play dead.

132. Watching someone sleep is considered rapey.

133. Humans have carved a new world for vampires; all you have to do is wear sparkles, drive a shiny Volvo and you're all set.

134. Samuel Campbell is the King of Hell's cabana boy.

135. Crazy is the only game in town.

136. The code word is funky.

137. There's no such thing as unicorns.

138. Dean used to watch Scooby-Doo.

139. Sam carries around Zombie pens.

140. Vampires are douchebags.

141. Ice cream comes in lots of flavors.

142. Cas is the hamburglar.

143. "News flash Mr. Wizard, vampires pee!"

144. "It's okay to add glitter to the glue you're sniffing, just don't dump your wackadoo all over us."

145. Tinkerbell is a hot naked lady.

146. Trying to kill a He-Witch will just give you the Clap.

147. Sam is a moose.

148. "Iodize the poor sucker and your kitchen is stocked for life."

149. Dean doesn't own any elephant books.

150. If there's nothing better to do on a Saturday night, pretend drunk and hustle pool.

151. Never let room service in unless it's your demon friend giving your some info.

152. When Lilith gets pissed, she gets creative.

153. Patience and sobriety is the key to get into Ruby 2.0's pants.

154. Sam is a crappy student.

155. Alistair is Picasso with a razor.

156. Angels are junkless down there, like a Ken doll.

157. Name calling hurts Alistair's feelings.

158. Being an angel isn't what it's all cracked up to be.

159. Dog, it's what's for dinner!

160. The daddy was the baby daddy too.

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_**That's it for now! If you guys have any ideas that could be used for WILFS, lemme know! Message em to me or post em in your review & I'll make sure you get your kudos!**_

_**Review! :)**_

_**-Elly**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is kinda short...I'm coming to the end of my list. Gotta make s'more! But I hope you enjoy it anyways! :)_**

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161. When you hand Dean a hamburger and he doesn't eat, he's got something to say.

162. Criss Angel is a douchebag.

163. Whatever you do, do NOT go to 426 Bleaker and ask to see Chief.

164. Bobby is the poster child for growing old.

165. Magic is like crack; people do surprising things once they get a taste of it.

166. Apparently, shoving a kid's arm into a Cuisinart is not a healthy display of anger.

167. Sam needs to stop c-blocking Dean.

168. Sirens; they shake their thang and guys zombie out.

169. Sirens are nasty bitches.

170. Stay away from strippers with Disney names.

171. Always wipe the mouth of your canteen before drinking out of it.

172. How do you save a Reaper? With style and class.

173. Go directly to hell, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

174. The Colt can kill pretty much anything but four things.

175. It's illegal to dig up graves in some states, possibly all states.

176. It frustrates Dean when Sam says such reckless things.

177. It frustrates Sam when Dean would rather run than fight.

178. Dean doesn't have to see Sam's face to know that those are his brooding and pensive shoulders.

179. Prophets have an Archangel tethered to their ankles.

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_**It'll be a while before I can post another chapter. But don't worry! I will do it as fast as my creative brain will allow me! **_

_**Don't forget to review! **_

_**-Elly**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Sorry it's been forever since I've updated...I've been busy with finishing school, being pregnant, moving, and then to top it all off, I had the stomach flu this past weekend. Which lemme tell ya, is not so fun when you're pregnant. Violent vomiting and diarrhea is not my idea of a fun time. (sorry for that mental image. xP) But I'm much MUCH better now :)**_

_**Finally got s'more written down! **__**Thanks to Lanzybeth for #185-189, Castiel'sgal for #190-199, and Ibelieve24 for #200. You guys are awesome! :)**_

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180. Tran can read the chicken scratch on the God rock.

181. "This looks like a sex torture dungeon."

182. "You don't take a joint from a guy named Don and no dogs in the car!"

183. There's no such thing as too much fiber.

184. Dean dropped out of Lunatic 101.

185. Never be in the pre-title sequence. Chances are you won't make the end credits.

186. It takes a whole liquor store to get an angel fully drunk and pissed.

187. It's rarely ever a simple salt and burn.

188. Friends wouldn't refer to the other as 'Yellow-eyed-Demon, they have names.

189. This whole [sex] industry runs on absent fathers, it's the natural order.

190. A vampire's weakness is Dean Man's blood.

191. Angels are dicks, well most of them.

192. God is MIA.

193. Death loves fast food.

194. The 4 Horsemen drive cars, not horses.

195. Reapers do not wear black and carry a syth.

196. All small children are creepy.

197. Morgan Freeman is not God.

198. Pagan Gods do exist.

199. You can build a 1967 Impala from scratch.

200. "If it bleeds, you can kill it."

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**_Once again, I'd like to thank Lanzybeth, Castiel'sgal and Ibelieve24 for helping me add more to the list! Here's a giant cookie for each of you! :)_**

**_If you want a giant cookie like the girls above, leave a WILFS suggestion. :)_**

**_Don't forget to review!_**

**_-Elly_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey guys! I'm baaaaack! Sorry for the mini-hiatus...again. I've been going crazy with cleaning everything and trying to get everything unpacked from when we moved back in October. So it's been a little hectic. But anyways. Let's commence with the WILFS! :)**_

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_****_201. Dean says 'awesome' a lot.

202. Bros before hoes.

203. Garth ganked the Tooth Fairy.

204. Garth is the new Bobby.

205. Civil War reenactments happen once a year, every year.

206. Sam should have looked for Dean when he was in Purgatory.

207. Zachariah is a two-faced douche.

208. Becky does not appreciate being mocked by Carver Edlund.

209. "The Michael sword is in a castle, on a hill made of 42 dogs."

210. Starting the Armageddon is something that doesn't get forgiven.

211. Never donate your organs after you die; your lover might do something crazy and [very] disgusting.

212. Purchasing a translator app for your phone tends to come in handy.

213. Sam always find the silver lining.

214. Telling the truth occasionally comes in handy - sometimes it just causes more trouble.

215. Always be cautious when opening a locker door - you never know when a cat might jump out and scare you.

216. Apparently, sacrificing to Ta-Kal is better than sex.

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**_Aaaalrighty guys! That's it for today. Sorry it's so short. It'll be longer next time, I promise. _**

**_Can you believe that the new episodes of Supernatural start back up next week!? I'm so excited! I miss my Dean! :)_**

**_Leave a suggestion & don't forget to review!_**

**_-Elly_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hiya guys! I've got another chapter ready for ya'll! It's taken me a while to write it because I'm starting to run out of ideas...but I'm rewatching the old seasons so hopefully there'll be more in chapter 9! :)**_

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217. Enochian sounds like Cling-on.

218. Samandriel aka Alfie, is Heaven's most adorable angel.

219. An angel blade not only kills angels, but demons too.

220. We have seen two Christmases with the Winchesters but have yet to see a birthday episode.

221. Sam considers working on a case, fun.

222. LARPing can get you killed.

223. The FBI is all work, no play.

224. If you hear horses galloping and neighing in the middle of the night, then you probably heard the tv, had a bad dream or were high as balls.

225. Dean is a LARPer wannabe.

226. Dean makes a sexy squire. ;)

227. The Winchesters like to say "ganked" a lot.

228. You can find the Book of Spells on Ebay.

229. The only encouraging speech Dean knows is the one from Braveheart.

230. The Mother of All is nicknamed Octomom.

231. Dean can recite every Clint Eastwood movie there is...even the monkey movie.

232. "His name is Clyde."

233. Dean is a posse magnet.

234. "Most monsters can't get it up for iron."

235. "Just because it looks quiet doesn't mean it is."

236. Don't patronize Sammy.

237. "Come here, I'm going to lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, maybe even slow dance."***

238. Dean is a freaking soccer mom.

239. Ash is a genius but according to Dean, he's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie.

240. Sam still busts out crying whenever he sees Ronald McDonald on tv.

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_**Okey dokey, that's it for now! Watching all these older seasons makes me miss my younger Dean! He was such a smart-alec/badass! And Sammy was so cute and innocent. [happily reminisces]**_

_*****If you can guess who says #237 and which episode that came from, I'll give you TWO giant cookies! :)**_

_**Don't forget to review!**_

_**-Elly **_


	9. Chapter 9

**_I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! :) _**

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241. Dean gets freaked out by gay guys hitting on him.

242. "I have something stuck to my shoe." is code word for "I'm being followed.".

243. He's a Golem.

244. Golems are like chia-pets.

245. Everybody loves bacon!

246. "The boy smoked the pages."

247. "Memory foam, it remembers me."

248. God wants us to take the SATs.

249. There are six thousand kinds of tomatoes.

250. Dean is a neat freak, who can also cook.

251. Holy water = Jesus juice.

252. Dean looks like Clark Kent with reading glasses on.

253. Dean doesn't like dogs.

254. Familars are super protective of their masters.

255. Dean is allergic to cats. (Hey, so am I!)

256. Dean wants to shoot some zombies.

257. "Woodchipper beats everything but so does grizzly bear."

258. Sam has Jason Bourne fighting skills, dies a lot and a history of violent women.

259. Not all zombies munch on brains.

260. Good to know that sheriffs know how to kill zombies effectively.

261. Greek Gods are real like every other monster.

262. Dean is proud to be a Legacy and will tell anybody who'll listen.

263. Sam is such a Greek nerd.

264. Dean paid attention in History class...to Schoolhouse Rock.

265. If you're going to massacre a town, take out the phone lines first.

266. "You are a handsome devil but I don't swing that way."

267. Everybody wants a neighbor named Mr. Rogers.

268. If you don't shut your pie-hole, Dean'll shoot you.

269. Dean can't leave Sammy to die alone.

270. The waitress in Tampa was the dumbest thing Dean's ever done.

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**_That's it for now!_**

**_If you have any suggestions, lemme know! I'm open to em all!_**

**_Later gators._**

**_-Elly_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Here's sa'more! :) **_

**_Thanks to AshtrayTragedyM.D, caffery girl, evilturkeyisbehindu, GoForTehGig, AshleyMarie84 for the suggestions! :)_**

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271. Dean doesn't mind eating chilli cheese fries on Sammy's bed.

272. "You can't let air out of the tires or else you'll bend the rims."

273. "Don't look at the camera. Look anywhere but the camera."*

274. Dean cannot cry out of both eyes simultaneously.*

275. Handcuffs won't hold a Winchester but they'll always keep using them.*

276. Dean would watch Anime, but he's strictly into Dick now.*

277. Dean looks better than Clark Kent with glasses on.*

278. "Kids are the best" is not a decent pick-up line.*

279. Do not attempt to calm a scared Dean with "touchy, feely, self-help, yoga crap".*

280. If you put your feet on Missouri's coffee table, she'll whack you with a spoon.*

281. Sam had a crappy guidance counselor.*

282. "I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot!"*

283. If you screwed up Dean's car, he'll kill you.*

284. P.A.s are kind of like slaves.*

285. They're just doughnuts, they're not love.*

286. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year's, or you might get filleted by a hooker from God.*

287. Dragons are real.*

288. Sam never stains his shirt when drinking demon blood.*

289. Sam can quote Tolkien in his sleep.*

290. Sam's puppy dog eyes should be considered lethal weapons.*

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**_If you're wondering what all the (*) are for, those are the ones that the above mentioned people have suggested. :)_**

**_I'll upload the next chapter once it's completed!_**

**_Leave a review!_**

**_-Elly_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Thanks to XKaterinaNightingaleX, evilturkeyisbehindu, The One Who Is All, The Urban Spaceman, and caffery girl for reviewing!_**

**_Here's another chapter of WILFS. Hope you guys enjoy!_**

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291. Parents obviously have failed at teaching their kids about "stranger danger" because they will happily welcome creepy clowns in their house at night and invite 2 strange men into their homes because they say they are "Teddy Bear doctors".

292. Teddy bears can be suicidal.

293. The Trickster has style.

294. Dean is a sucker for happy endings.

295. Archangels have an odd sense of humor.

296. Dean knows what a 1st Edition Asian porn magazine would go for on Ebay.

297. Dean still prays to Castiel.

298. "Well he puts the ass in Cas."

299. Sam is a hag-magnet.

300. "Hi, I'm Meg, I'm a demon."

301. "You know, I get why Crowley calls you moose now."

302. Cas remembers the pizza man.

303. Meg has the hots for Cas. And by hots, I mean she wants to "order some pizza and move some furniture around."

304. Meg is Crowley's favorite chew toy.

305. Castiel has been poking Crowley's boys and not in a sexy way.

306. Sam and Dean are Timon and Pumba.

307. "Stop putting salt in my game and mind your own business."

308. Paying more cash gets you more.

309. Three pubescent teenagers are the future of hunters.

310. Never trust a guy who wears a sweater.

311. Dean's really not that old.

312. Kevin holding a frying pan makes Dean uneasy.

313. Kevin needs to up his anxiety meds.

314. Reapers are like hell coyotes.

315. Good guys go to the penthouse.

316. Gate-crashing a Winchester seriously blows.

317. Patience isn't one of Crowley's virtues; well, he doesn't have any virtues but if he did, patience certainly wouldn't be one.

318. It's okay for Reapers to freelance but not with the Winchesters.

319. Purgatory is Hell adjacent.

320. Winchester jumbo-size is trying to break into the mothership.

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**_Alrighty! I've already got the next chapter started so hopefully it'll be posted soon. Leave a review of what you think or your suggestions! _**

**_Later gators!_**

**_-Elly_**


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